R & O Lately

Feeling a little sentimental today as I ponder the last {almost} year of my life. While Ryder was watching Disney Jr. I took advantage and jumped in the shower with Oakley. A pretty normal occurrence but today was different. I looked down at Oakley and a flashback of the last year flooded my thoughts. I remembered how rough it was at the beginning, not just because I now had two, but because he was hard, he was not an easy baby.. and I look at him now, and I'm so proud of him. I'm so proud of how we've overcome the hardest of times since he's been here. I'm proud of him for the milestones he's hit, I'm proud of him for overcoming his fussiness, and most recently I'm so proud of him for how well he's walking.

I sat down to wash his hair and he leaned over to take advantage of the milk-fountain that was free-game at the moment. I couldn't help but laugh, so I just held and fed him for a while. I didn't think it was for that long, until the water started getting really cold. Every time I looked down at him and smiled, he'd unlatch and smile back.. the sweetest, gap-tooth, dimple cheek smile I've ever seen. I was in mommy heaven. I'm not sure how much longer we'll nurse, one year is always my goal. I've said before, it's not at all my favorite thing to do... but today, it was. I really love that he needs me, I feel like some sort of super human that my baby can get all the nourishment he needs by me alone, and that makes me proud of myself; for sticking it out.

My sister-in-law was over earlier in the day and we swapped her 12 month winter clothes for my 2T for Jude. As I was going through the box to weed the smaller sizes out before I gave it to her, the same flood of emotions hit me. Ryder was about Oakley's age when he wore those clothes. I guess we need those small things to happen to remind us that these days won't last forever.

Ryder will be 3 in less than a month. He's so excited, and I'm devastated. I hardly even remember the last 3 years. It makes me sad that my first baby isn't a baby. I can carry on full conversations with him, sometimes I have to remind myself that he isn't an adult. He's so sweet, and polite, and funny... seriously funny.

2 days ago was Jude's birthday and Ryder got to go out with them for a birthday lunch. Julie got back and told me how funny he was... and I waited for the story. He had told "Judy" that he was going to have a BABY SISTER.... I about died. He's now mastered convincing lies. Seriously, out of nowhere, on his own, without any prying; I don't even know where he got the idea. I'm assuming it was some kind of scheme to make Jude jealous (because Ryder is jealous that Jude has a sister whom Ryder also calls HIS baby sister). But either way, he's convinced.

Tyler and I have obviously talked about it, probably mostly because Oakley is nearing the ripe 'ol age of one which I guess is the appropriate age for everyone and their mom's mom to get in your business and ask when your next baby is coming. And, not just any baby, a girl baby. Like it's some super easy thing to do to conceive, carry and raise another child, oh and pick their sex.

So to you, who don't ask me that every.single.time I see you, thank you. But if you are curious and haven't asked, my answer to you would be, I have no idea. The time isn't quite right yet. We're content with life right now. Our kids are super fun, I love the ages they're at. We can like, go to Disneyland, go on a cruise or to Sea World (which we're doing for Ryder's birthday) and other fun things that you can't do when you have an infant or while pregnant. But I promise, when/if it happens, and I'm about... 12 weeks pregnant y'all will be the first to know ;). That is, unless Ryder tells the world before we get to it.

The last, 6-8ish months in a nut-shell.

It's been 3/4 of a year since my last real blog post. I guess you could say I've been busy with my 2 kiddos, but the real excuse is that I (we) am cheep and we just barely got internet after being in our new place for months.

Life around here has been mostly good, with the usual few bumps in the road. I've been told with each child, you tend to document less, take less pictures and just fall into life. It's true. I usually remember Oakley is a month older, the day after, then think 'well it's not actually his birthday, so I don't want to take a monthly picture on the wrong day'. Silly, I know.

Well, I remembered yesterday. My baby boy is EIGHT months old. In the last couple of weeks he started scooting, then crawling, he got his first 2, bottom teeth on the same day and he's pulling up to everything. He pushes around any toy he can use as a walker, claps his hands when he's excited, follows me around the house, crawls into the kitchen, opens cupboards, tips the trash can over...drives me crazy and makes me soooo happy within the same minute.

Thus far, Oakley has made Tyler and I wonder if we'll be daughter-less forever. But seriously, he's either the happiest baby on earth or an absolutely screaming/crying, back-arching, refusing to eat, hot mess. I recently had a pediatrician tell me that his problem was "likely behavioral" at a sick visit, that ended up not being an ear infection, or any sickness at all that was causing the blood curdling screams. I was advised to let him CIO- not something I'm willing to do. SO, we're living with it.

There are some times where he's happier than any kid I know, and those are the times in my day that I look forward to the most. He loves bath time, or any water interaction he can get. He loves playing with dad's keys and watching Baby Einstein. But, I'd say his favorite part(s) of the day is what the Willards, inappropriately refer to as 'titty time'.

I'm so proud that we've made it 8 months breast feeding. If you know me well, you know that it is my least favorite thing about having a new baby. Some people love it, I'm not one of them. We do it because it's what's best and I'm not ok with shoving (whatever crap) is in formula down my kid's throat for my own selfishness. We're finally at the stage that it's more convenient than not, and there's no real reason to stop.. and now I can say I don't hate it, I just don't like it. Progress.

Since having 2, I'd say my most favorite part is seeing the two of them interact. Ryder and Oakley love each other more than any siblings I've ever seen. Ryder will hug him, and roll back and forth around the living room, or on our bed and Oak thinks it's the most fun he's ever had. Ryder calls him some adorable pet-names like, sugar pie, baby blue eyes, baby boy, chunky monkey-- just to name a few. He's always asking "where's Oakley?" if he's napping or gone somewhere with dad. I love how close they are, I love that I had 2 boys in a row to be buddies to each other forever.

Ryder is my 2 1/2 going on 16, nearly vegetarian, smarty-pants. He wants to drive (and we let him), fix things with tools, do everything his dad is doing and talks about wanting to be a Fire Fighter "like daddy" when he grows up (no, Tyler isn't a FF. but we roll with it). He corrects me everyday on the differences between tractors i.e.: "that's not a back-hoe, that's a LOADER, mom!" and lets me know which kind of truck is next to us driving, including the make, and type of diesel that it has. He's too smart for his own good and certainly makes his daddy proud with his knowledge of all that boy stuff that I don't understand.

He has a humor, that I know will get him in some trouble when he's older. It's a mixture of dry and straight forward/I can't believe he just said that/but it was hilarious. He references body parts far too often, but he's so accurate that you're more proud than angry ;). Aside from the occasional "no, I don't really love you, too", the fact that he needs a serious hair(tail) cut and the normal terrible-two tantrums, I love the little guy.

This summer we've been swimming a lot. My in-laws have a pool so we've been over there quite a bit, along with a couple other friend's pools and even the public pool and splash pads. Summer has just started and I've realized that it's not worth going anywhere outside with 2 kids on your hip unless there will be water involved.

As for Tyler and I, aside from the norm, work, parent things, we've been doing awesome. Tyler is still working as a plumber and I'm still home wrangling the kids and my sister moved in with us in recent weeks. We also celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary in May. I don't know if it's like this for everyone, but it sneaks up on me every year. I can't believe it's been another year already. I guess that's how things go when you marry your best friend and high school sweetie-pie.

Since I should have more inside/air conditioned free time than I have had, I am hoping to update my blog more than once every 6months. I'm hoping to get my home unpacked just in the nick of time so that I can re-pack it when our lease is up, maybe buy a boat, possibly move somewhere cool for a year, maybe end up loving it and staying. We don't know, and I think we're beginning to like it that way.

 

Not the best of times.

Today we got some not-so good news that we knew may come, but hoped didn't; a declination letter from our loan officer... yeah, the week our house was supposed to close. 7 months after we've been "pre-approved", living with friends and family, picking out every little detail, from a huge lot for our boys to the beautiful gormet kitchen I've always wanted. We built our dream home to be able to live as a family for the first time in over a year.

Devastated couldn't even begin to explain the way we feel. And angry would probably be an understatement. There were many factors that led to this, and every single one of them was of no fault of our own. Not our credit, not our financial or work situation, nothing.

I'm having such a hard time knowing that, thanks to those who contributed to the way the market is, made it impossible for those of us, who are new to this game, those of us who did nothing wrong in this mess of a housing market, to buy a home.

We are going to keep saving (as, we've now lost a huge chunk of money), and rent for now, since that's our only option.

I figured, this would be the best way to let everyone know who know or have been asking. I've been purposely ignoring any house related questions because honestly, I didn't know the answer either. It's been down to the wire. We've lost hope and regained it by false promises countless times now.

We will get through this. I know that there is a reason that we lost the money, that we just built a house for another family to come in and buy, and although I have no idea what any of those reasons are right now.. I have faith that the Lord has bigger and better things for the Willards. I know that He can and will take this hurt away in His time, and make everything better as long as we lean on him for the answers we so desperately need.