It's been a while..

Recently I've been counting my blessings.
It's so hard sometimes to be thankful, and see the bright side of things.

The past couple months, I found out I was pregnant AND found out I was losing my job. It was kind of a blessing in disguise I guess. The timing seemed to be the worst. But I was SO thrilled about my pregnancy that I really didn't have time to be sad about losing my job.

When the day came however, it was a hard day. It's only been 5 days and I miss them so much. Spending 4-5 days per week, with 2 little ones, for almost 2 years and all of the sudden spending your days alone, is harder than I thought it would be. I catch myself wondering what they're thinking or doing, or if they're doing okay in daycare.

It's really just re-instilled what I already knew. I will be a stay at home mom. I will not leave my children with strangers. I know that if it breaks my heart this much, for 2 kids who aren't even mine to be in day care, I can only imagine how it would feel if they were my own.

It's crazy how the loss of money wasn't even thought of, or a concern. I knew we would get by. I know that through faith, we will get through this.

On a much lighter note...
I am 11w 2d today. I love that I turn another week on Sundays. I don't know why, but there's something awesome about remembering while I'm sitting in church. I just love it!

We scheduled our ultrasound to find out what I'm having. It's going to be May 29th at 12:15! We're cheaters, and made a "sneek peek" appt. I knew I couldn't wait until 18 weeks after I learned I could pay to find out at 15! (I know, I'm terrible!) But.. I can't wait, I seriously have a countdown going haha. Tyler's WHOLE family thinks it's a girl, and my WHOLE family thinks it's a boy. I'm not sure why, but no one, on either side has said the opposite. We'll see. I don't have a clue (and neither does anyone else) But Tyler really, really wants a boy!

The other day I did about 10 different "gender tests" It was ridiculous. It confused me even more. Half said boy, half said girl, and one said 45%boy 55% girl. Thanks! That helped (note the sarcasm) haha. I then learned patience, kind of. I won't be taking another one of those tests. I can wait another 4 weeks!

Since I'm out a job & have no life, I thought my house would be spotless. HA! It's anything but. We got my Grandma's baby grand piano out of here.. FINALLY. Only took a year. And into her house. It's so nice having 1/4 of my family room that I never had before. But since we took it out, my house, along with myself, has been a hot mess! I'm gradually doing small things..

Today: I did the dishes, and started some laundry (Tyler ran out of socks..) and I'm thinking about dusting. Things are hard enough when you're tired, fat & pregnant, but add the blues to that, and forget it!

I know that through faith, I will get through this!