Feeling a little sentimental today as I ponder the last {almost} year of my life. While Ryder was watching Disney Jr. I took advantage and jumped in the shower with Oakley. A pretty normal occurrence but today was different. I looked down at Oakley and a flashback of the last year flooded my thoughts. I remembered how rough it was at the beginning, not just because I now had two, but because he was hard, he was not an easy baby.. and I look at him now, and I'm so proud of him. I'm so proud of how we've overcome the hardest of times since he's been here. I'm proud of him for the milestones he's hit, I'm proud of him for overcoming his fussiness, and most recently I'm so proud of him for how well he's walking.
I sat down to wash his hair and he leaned over to take advantage of the milk-fountain that was free-game at the moment. I couldn't help but laugh, so I just held and fed him for a while. I didn't think it was for that long, until the water started getting really cold. Every time I looked down at him and smiled, he'd unlatch and smile back.. the sweetest, gap-tooth, dimple cheek smile I've ever seen. I was in mommy heaven. I'm not sure how much longer we'll nurse, one year is always my goal. I've said before, it's not at all my favorite thing to do... but today, it was. I really love that he needs me, I feel like some sort of super human that my baby can get all the nourishment he needs by me alone, and that makes me proud of myself; for sticking it out.
My sister-in-law was over earlier in the day and we swapped her 12 month winter clothes for my 2T for Jude. As I was going through the box to weed the smaller sizes out before I gave it to her, the same flood of emotions hit me. Ryder was about Oakley's age when he wore those clothes. I guess we need those small things to happen to remind us that these days won't last forever.
Ryder will be 3 in less than a month. He's so excited, and I'm devastated. I hardly even remember the last 3 years. It makes me sad that my first baby isn't a baby. I can carry on full conversations with him, sometimes I have to remind myself that he isn't an adult. He's so sweet, and polite, and funny... seriously funny.
2 days ago was Jude's birthday and Ryder got to go out with them for a birthday lunch. Julie got back and told me how funny he was... and I waited for the story. He had told "Judy" that he was going to have a BABY SISTER.... I about died. He's now mastered convincing lies. Seriously, out of nowhere, on his own, without any prying; I don't even know where he got the idea. I'm assuming it was some kind of scheme to make Jude jealous (because Ryder is jealous that Jude has a sister whom Ryder also calls HIS baby sister). But either way, he's convinced.
Tyler and I have obviously talked about it, probably mostly because Oakley is nearing the ripe 'ol age of one which I guess is the appropriate age for everyone and their mom's mom to get in your business and ask when your next baby is coming. And, not just any baby, a girl baby. Like it's some super easy thing to do to conceive, carry and raise another child, oh and pick their sex.
So to you, who don't ask me that every.single.time I see you, thank you. But if you are curious and haven't asked, my answer to you would be, I have no idea. The time isn't quite right yet. We're content with life right now. Our kids are super fun, I love the ages they're at. We can like, go to Disneyland, go on a cruise or to Sea World (which we're doing for Ryder's birthday) and other fun things that you can't do when you have an infant or while pregnant. But I promise, when/if it happens, and I'm about... 12 weeks pregnant y'all will be the first to know ;). That is, unless Ryder tells the world before we get to it.
