I love night night time.

Ryder's love for books continues:
A few weeks ago, he threw his fat chicken leg over my stomach and sat down on my lap, leaned back, with book in hand. When we were done reading "Wheels on the Go" {for the 36384947 time} he started chewing on the corners.. Which lead to:
"we don't eat books, we eat babies"
I love this little nugget.
Ps. He just brought me a book to read, shocker!

I live for little moments, like that.

Lately, I've felt so fortunate for this adventure, we call Texas. As much as it sucks to be so far away, it has been one of the biggest blessings thus far in our marriage. We have been able to identify ourselves as our own family and have to rely on each other so much more.

I've been able to spend day and night with my son, without having to hear that I "do nothing" all day. {yeah, I've heard it plenty. YOU try keeping a house spotless, without a maid, while watching a toddler. Be my guest.} I'm pretty sure, I have the best husband ever. He always makes sure to let me know he could never do my 'job', and on days like today, its nice to hear.

If nothing else comes out of moving here, I'm content in knowing we've grown as individuals and even more so a couple. Having an understanding and appreciation of each other and the duties we each hold that we didn't have before.

This week has been one to remember. Ryder has discovered his love for books. He brings me books all day, and puts his chubby arms up for me to pick him up to sit on my lap. He snuggles into my arm and lays back while i read. As long as I keep reading, he'll keep snuggling.

Every night we have the same routine. Diaper change, lights off, TV on, and a blankie on the floor with a bottle in hand.
Usually, he'll roll around after he drinks his milk and I pat his back until he's asleep. But, the other night as soon as his bottle was gone he stood up and walked behind me.

I tried to ignore him, so he'd come lay back down. But he didn't. I felt his little hand on my back and thought for sure my hair would be pulled any minute. But it didn't.

He started rubbing my back, for at least a minute. I started crying as soon as he started. I didn't want to look back, because I didn't want him to stop. It's like he knew that it comforted him to sleep and just wanted to do the same for me.

When I did look back he got the most adorable, bashful smile.. Then gave me the biggest hug he's ever given me, followed by a long "awwww". Knowing, he did something really great. He fell asleep in my lap that night. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.

I wish my husband was home every night, and knowing how much Ryder adores his 'Da-ee', I know he does, too. It's hard knowing he has to miss those cute things. We miss him like crazy. I know he misses us, but I see the love that it must take to work for 14 days straight at 100+ hours per week to support and give your family everything they need. I'm truly blessed. I never thought this would be my life, but I'm so glad it is.

My baby isn't a baby anymore.

Ryder's cute boots that FINALLY fit!

I often find myself wondering where in the world did these last 12 months go!?
I know, all moms say and think the same. But now I get it... And it's so dang bitter-sweet! Why do they grow so fast? It doesn't seem like there's ANY way that was a year ago. It's still so fresh in my mind, wasn't he just born?! I've looked at the calendar a few times today in disbelief.

He's walking, yeah WALKING, yesterday I counted 14 steps. He gets so excited, and knows he did something really great.

He's talking, Dad, Dada, Da-ee being his favorites and STOP, the most recent and always in his 'yelling voice'. Kid's got some lungs. Still no 'Mama'. I totally feel gipped, I remind him who bathes, feeds, changes and snuggles him all day, but he doesn't seem to mind. Or knows, that I'll do them regardless.

Playing independently is a new one as well. It's AMAZING. I can get things done, or just watch his genius little mind work. It amazes me what he has figured out after just a year and it literally makes me teary eyed... {Which may have something to do with the fact that moving to Texas has made me an emotional wreck, but whatever...} It's sweet.

Today is his birthday. But not just any birthday.. His FIRST birthday. It's an accomplishment for all of us. Being a parent is hard work, but so incredibly rewarding at the same time. We wanted to take advantage of the fact that Tyler had 1/2 day left at home to celebrate the day as a family!

my identical boys.

We woke up, set up all of his presents, and waited for him to wake up. We made sure to video the whole thing {which we've been really bad at lately}.

It felt like Christmas. We decided to make it a tradition to wake up to presents, and not have to wait until night time, or a party on a different day etc. etc. And it was awesome! His face was priceless. Definitely one of the best things about having your own family is creating new traditions.

lunch time!

After getting ready, and doing a couple last minute loads of laundry for Tyler, we headed to lunch. We just picked our favorite Mexican place, since 1 year old's don't really have a preference to restaurants yet.

Ryder's only preference is: food.
We headed over to Peter Piper Pizza since there's one super close to our house. Again, what is a 1-year-old's birthday requirements? Luckily, he really enjoyed it!
We got $2 worth of tokens and that was PLENTY. He didn't really like the ride-ons and he was really too little for the games but he had a blast on the playground! One of us, took him up, and the other took pictures. He had a blast crawling through the tubes and going down the slide with us! We were glad we took him.





We knew we needed a cake, but I didn't make one today {stay tuned for Pirate P-arrr-ty pictures in a few weeks} so we took him to pick his own! We wanted a small cake, but not a cupcake.

so.many.choices.

a chubby kid's dream

 We thought it was cute to take him, and he seemed to enjoy it.
We had cake, a much needed bath afterwards and then little man went down for his nap!

thosssssse cheeks!

Tyler had to leave to go back to work. His shift starts at 12am and the shop is 6 hours from our house. It was so much harder to let him go back today than it ever has been before. Maybe it was because Ryder was asleep, and I knew he would wake up asking for him, maybe because it was our son's birthday, or maybe it was because each time he has to go back we realize more and more how much we miss eachother. Either way, we shared a good cry, hugs and a prayer before he left, and hope these two weeks fly by.

I pulled myself together before Ryder woke up from his nap. We spent the rest of the day playing with all of his new toys and sliding down his slide! He fell asleep by thunder rolling across the family room floor with his silky blanket in hand, until he passed out. I love my blankie boy.
 


It was a really good day. I'm glad we took the time to capture it with pictures and video. I know those are things we'll never regret.


Favorite of the day. My handsome boy.

 

I sure do love you, Ryder. Happy Birthday, buddy!

The Willards: The Texans

I'm sure by now, everyone knows that we relocated to Texas.


our home {the one on the right}



After weeks of searching, we finally found an adorable Duplex in Crowley. {about 30 miles SW of Dallas}

Since we are new to town/state, we were happy that they offered a 6 month lease option just in case we hated it and also because Tyler's job can take him just about anywhere in Texas.

Everyone keeps asking about his job: Right now he's working a 14/6 schedule. He's literally gone the full 14 days, working up to 120 hours per WEEK! We miss him so much, but I'm so grateful to have the 6 days off to get us back on track. I love that we agree on the importance of me staying home with our son, it has been such a rewarding blessing to be able to spend my days {and nights} with him.

Wednesday started Tyler's 14 days on, its always hard the few days, but I have to keep reminding myself of why we're here and look forward to the future.

This last week with Tyler home was a little stressful, lots to get done. Our great friends, the Donnelly's brought our stuff all the way from Henderson to Crowley for us. We got it all unloaded and now it's just a matter of finding a spot for everything and getting everything put together... If we ever locate where the screws to Ryder's crib are.. Oy.

Once everything was unloaded we could have a little fun, we went shopping quite a bit. We sold all of our big furniture before we moved, so I had been couch/table-less for a month..We got a couch, cute, red entertainment center and a refinished antique table that I LOVE... That I still need to find chairs for.

 

 We also carved pumpkins for baby boy's 1st Halloween! He loved rolling them around, and it was near impossible to get a good picture that he was smiling and wasn't blurry:

I know much more has happened, and should go back a year and catch up, but I know I won't. Our family feels so blessed to be where we are, but we definitely get home-sick. I'm hoping that blogging will help everyone feel like they're a part of our everyday life, even though we're 1,300 miles away from 'home'.

Ham.Bone.

I'll leave you with this cutie.. He was REALLY excited about the Albertson's chocolate cookie sample.

Monday, June 1st changed my life!

It's so amazing how learning something so small, can change everything.

I LOVE MY LITTLE BOY!

When we learned that we could find out what we were having at 15 weeks, instead of 18-20 at the Doctor's office, we made an appointment! Las Vegas 4D baby here we come!

I made the appt for 7pm BECAUSE I had a hair appt already made for that day and I had to wait for everyone to get off of work. At the time it didn't seem like a big deal.

But it was! It had to be the longest day of my life!

Why didn't I think to change the day of my hair appt?

I was antsy and shakey and anxious. I had terrible thoughts all day that I was going to get all excited, and he/she was going to curl up in a ball and now show us the parts!

We were allowed to have up to 10 people.. so, we did just that! Grandpa & Grammy Clark (my parents) Papa & Mimi Zeedyk (Tyler's mom & step-dad) Uncle Kyle & Aunt Julie (my brother & siter-in-law) Jen (my best friend) Cody (Tyler's best friend) And of course, Tyler and I.

The group was fun, and I'm SO glad the ultrasound Tech, Victoria was, too! She handled the rowdy croud very well! It was so cool! It was way more advanced than a 2D at the Dr's office and it showed up on a big flat screen on the wall. Before she announced the sex, she was explaining other things. She got a BEAUTIFUL profile shot (she said it was "text book", I agreed, of course) She passed over the head, the cord, and everything else and Tyler's reaction to EVERYTHING was "is that a weiner??" "no Tyler. that's the arm" haha. He was so anxious to know. It seemed like it took forever to get to the sex part. But I soaked in every second. It was amazing to watch him move, and do summer salts, and the jokes that were flying a room were priceless. I wish we could've videod the whole thing, so many memories!!

She also did measurements for me, and determined that I'm due Nov. 19th, not the 21st like we thought. Hey, 2 days is 2 days!

Right before she announced BOY OR GIRL, we saw the little arm, reach down and hold the croch. No lie! It HAD to be a boy, right? He did it a few more times. I swear I had never heard the word penis, more in my life! Haha. Victoria finally said, "yep, IT'S A BOY!" She pointed out all the parts. Tyler was/is on a high. We both thought it was a boy all along, but just knowing for sure made everything so much more real! We weren't guessing anymore. I've been so happy ever since!

Before, we had discussed that we'd use either Oakley or Ryder for our boy. After the ultrasound, Tyler decided that he doesn't like Oakley anymore. You'd think, Ryder it is, then.. right? No. Tyler also wants to use his middle name (Wray pronouced Ray) And Ryder Wray, does NOT sound good to me. It sounds like "right away" Doesn't it? haha. I think, so at least. So I guess the name is up in the air. I think Tyler's afraid that it'll be our only boy and he'll never get to pass his middle name along, which I also understand.

I thought that I'd be a shopping nut after I found out, but believe it or not, I haven't bought anyting! I'm just so happy and content knowing what's in there! I love that I can talk to HIM, and know who I'm talking to. I love that when Tyler gets home, I can tell him, his little BOY missed him! I can't wait to meet him, he's already the highlight of my days!:)

It's been a while..

Recently I've been counting my blessings.
It's so hard sometimes to be thankful, and see the bright side of things.

The past couple months, I found out I was pregnant AND found out I was losing my job. It was kind of a blessing in disguise I guess. The timing seemed to be the worst. But I was SO thrilled about my pregnancy that I really didn't have time to be sad about losing my job.

When the day came however, it was a hard day. It's only been 5 days and I miss them so much. Spending 4-5 days per week, with 2 little ones, for almost 2 years and all of the sudden spending your days alone, is harder than I thought it would be. I catch myself wondering what they're thinking or doing, or if they're doing okay in daycare.

It's really just re-instilled what I already knew. I will be a stay at home mom. I will not leave my children with strangers. I know that if it breaks my heart this much, for 2 kids who aren't even mine to be in day care, I can only imagine how it would feel if they were my own.

It's crazy how the loss of money wasn't even thought of, or a concern. I knew we would get by. I know that through faith, we will get through this.

On a much lighter note...
I am 11w 2d today. I love that I turn another week on Sundays. I don't know why, but there's something awesome about remembering while I'm sitting in church. I just love it!

We scheduled our ultrasound to find out what I'm having. It's going to be May 29th at 12:15! We're cheaters, and made a "sneek peek" appt. I knew I couldn't wait until 18 weeks after I learned I could pay to find out at 15! (I know, I'm terrible!) But.. I can't wait, I seriously have a countdown going haha. Tyler's WHOLE family thinks it's a girl, and my WHOLE family thinks it's a boy. I'm not sure why, but no one, on either side has said the opposite. We'll see. I don't have a clue (and neither does anyone else) But Tyler really, really wants a boy!

The other day I did about 10 different "gender tests" It was ridiculous. It confused me even more. Half said boy, half said girl, and one said 45%boy 55% girl. Thanks! That helped (note the sarcasm) haha. I then learned patience, kind of. I won't be taking another one of those tests. I can wait another 4 weeks!

Since I'm out a job & have no life, I thought my house would be spotless. HA! It's anything but. We got my Grandma's baby grand piano out of here.. FINALLY. Only took a year. And into her house. It's so nice having 1/4 of my family room that I never had before. But since we took it out, my house, along with myself, has been a hot mess! I'm gradually doing small things..

Today: I did the dishes, and started some laundry (Tyler ran out of socks..) and I'm thinking about dusting. Things are hard enough when you're tired, fat & pregnant, but add the blues to that, and forget it!

I know that through faith, I will get through this!

Easter, and my 7 week.

Well Easter was a blast. We went to Mission Hills Park on Sat. for a Picinic. We do it every year with my mom's twin sister's family, and who ever else shows up. It's freakin windy EVERY year, you'd think we'd learn to move it inside.. ha. Don't mind my cute hood. My little brother, Seth is so cute, I couldn't help but share:) If I have a little boy, I'll be thrilled, just because Seth changed my whole perspective on little boys.

It was also my dad's 50th Birthday. I can't believe my dad's 50, and has a 1 year old. I guess it'll keep him young;). Since it got so windy at the park, we took his cake and presents home. I made him a home-made banana-nut-cake. It's SO good, and easy. It's his favorite, and his grandma's recipe. Let me know if you want it, it'll be a family fave!

My brother, Kyle and his wife Julie stayed at our house, since my mom always has sick kids and Julie is also pregnant. It was fun doing Easter baskets here for the first time. I loved getting stuff for Tyler, and he got me a cute baby carriage charm for my Pandora charm necklace:) I love him and I love looking at my neck everyday and thinking about our little one!

We also went shooting while they were here. Just the 4 of us. It was a lot of fun, I only shot one round, but usually I don't want to go at all, so I was pretty proud of myself:)

As for the pregnancy--

I owe my life (or it seems) to Tara Hendrickson, my neighbor. She mentioned taking my prenatal vitimin right before bed, and myabe it would help with the sickness, and.. IT DID! Woohoo, I kind of feel like I feel "too good" now. I'm sure everything's fine, but I felt so crappy before, it seems too nice now haha.

We had a little scare on Friday. My OB office called Tyler and sounded pretty urgent to talk to me, they had my number wrong, (a 4 where a 9 should've been) and wouldn't give him any info, and just said to have me call ASAP. Since it was my day off, Tyler called me at 9, woke me up and scared the sh*t out of me! I called, and it wasn't really anything. I was relieved, and kind of pissed at the lady, at the same time. They wanted me to do blood work 48 hours apart, and to tell me I had a yeast infection(TMI?, but really, I had no idea, I still don't believe it) Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to buy monostat 3? UGH, anyway. The Dr. also wants to do another ultrasound. Since my LMP was december and I'm clearly not 16 weeks, he just wants to do an ultrasound at 1 before my prenatal at 2 o'clock so he can give me an accurate due date and stuff. I'm pretty excited, hoping we can acutally see and hear the baby's heartbeat since my ultrasound at 5.5 weeks showed nothing but a blob. When I go in I should be 1 day away fom 8 weeks (from what I was told last time.) I'm really excited. I'll keep you posted. :)